I probably shouldn’t be here writing this post at this moment when there are so many other things to do and people to attend to and emails to respond to and orders to pack and books to write and other books to edit and e-courses to outline and websites to create and dishes to do and laundry to fold and the list goes on and on…
No, it doesn’t make sense that I am here.
And you know what? It doesn’t have to.
Sometimes our souls beg us to leave all of these to-dos and tasks for a moment and listen to our hearts. Sometimes our inner wisdom knows that taking just a few minutes creating or inspiring or loving is all that we need to fill ourselves up, and then we can get back to it all again.
If you are a recovering people pleaser (like me), this putting ourselves first and leaping when our souls urge us to leap may not come naturally to you. If you are used to dropping everything in order to swoop in and help someone else and make their life better in some way, this concept may seem a bit foreign or even a bit scary to you.
I hear you. Really, I do.
Like right now. My soul has been urging me to write all day long. And I vowed to do so first thing this morning. But, like so many other mornings, the day started with fires that needed to be put out. It’s evening now, and this is the first chance I’ve taken to come back to myself and remember that whisper that asked me to write so many hours ago.
Why is it so hard to take time for ourselves? Why is it so hard to honor ourselves in this way? Why is it so easy to take care of others and to please others and to want to be praised by others and to want others to like us that we give up our own needs in the process?
Well, I don’t know why it’s so hard and why it doesn’t always come naturally, but I do know that we can change this knee-jerk reaction to ignore anything that doesn’t make sense in our lives in order to take care of what does. I do know that we matter. You. Me. All of us.
When our souls urge us to sit or create or move down a path other than the one you thought you were supposed to be on – listen. Take action. This is our life that I’m talking about. And we’re the only one who can stand up for it – protect it – and love it.
- So no, it probably doesn’t make sense when you come home from a long day and dinner needs to be made and the house needs to be cleaned, and instead you climb into a hot bubble bath and soak for a long while.
- And it definitely doesn’t make sense when you have at least a million emails to respond to and others waiting to hear back from you to instead turn off your email alerts and escape into your own world of writing.
- And I’m guessing that it wouldn’t make sense to take an entire day each week that was just for you – where you pampered yourself all day and treated yourself like the beautiful blessing that you are.
Nope. These definitely don’t make any sense at all.
But I still think you should do them anyway.
Am I saying that we should ignore our responsibilities and always follow every whim? Definitely not.
I’m saying that when you are so far out of balance doing for others and doing what you think you should do that you honestly can’t remember the last time you listened to your own soul and your own inner voice and followed that – do something about it. Follow that voice and see where it leads. Let it take you down the path back to yourself. Allow yourself to receive this beautiful gift. You deserve it. And I promise your soul will soar and your heart will overflow when you take this much-needed time for yourself. Just like mine is right now because I took the time to write.
And doesn’t honoring ourselves make sense? I sure think so.
What’s one thing that doesn’t make sense in your life, but you’re going to do it anyway because your soul is urging you to?
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Jodi: Hey, nice site and awesome post! Sometimes we have to attend to our own needs, but for most of us life is about finding balance. Today, I can write, play video games and watch T.V, but tomorrow I wash my car, read a book and clean up my apartment.
As for my blogging, I intend to dam near work myself to death for a week and then rest the next week (still working a lil, but the very minimum)!
What do you think?
Best wishes,
William Veasley
Hi William,
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting! You’re so right that it’s about finding balance and figuring out what works best in our own lives.
I’m excited to go check out your blog now! 🙂
I used to find it very hard to say “NO” – I still suffer from it but I am learning to do it. Yes, being a people pleaser is also a tough job. The one thing I do these days – listening to my soul – is painting and sketching. I used to, before, but had stopped, thanks to the other things that filled up my day, and then some. The joy is amazing, Jodi. Doing things for ourselves is something that always takes a backseat 🙁 because of the way we prioritize things. Sigh.
That’s so great that you’re painting and sketching again and taking time to feed your soul. I’m sure it makes you feel wonderful, too. I know that I felt better after writing this post – knowing that I had taken time for myself was the best gift I could give myself. 🙂
Beautiful way to live, give in to the urges (sometimes, ’cause sometimes the kids need to be fed too).
Thanks, Charmaine! Yes, you’re right that we can’t completely give into our urges 24/7 – although, I would love for my life to be filled with only doing things that I felt inspired to do. It’s definitely getting more and more that way. 🙂
YES!! We need to listen to our souls more because they know what we don’t let ourselves hear sometimes: there’s more to life than rushing through every day with barely a moment to pause and reflect. We’re here to do greater work than that and we just need to be still and attentive to our own needs.
People-pleasing is overrated, anyway; others just use it as an excuse to walk all over you. I say stand strong and juice up your tank when you’re running on empty. Better yet, be aware of it so it never goes that low! 😀
Thanks, Otiti! 🙂
Great advice to keep an eye on our tank before it gets too low in the first place. I love it!
Oh, yes! It is so important to take time for ourselves, to listen to our soul, and follow that lead. True, we cannot always respond right then and there, but we do need to listen and heed when we can.
Fantastic post, Jodi!
Blessings!
Thanks for your comment, Martha!
I’m so glad that we’re each listening to our souls together! 🙂
There are so many times I put off writing and then my idea is gone! I know I need to put some things off but it’s hard to find the balance. Thanks for the inspiration!!
Hi Betsy!
Yes, I find that the ideas come quickly and usually go just as fast. I have pads of paper in every room in the house just in case for that very reason! 🙂
Love the post Jodi! It’s true, I used to feel guilty when I take time out for myself but I realized just how much I NEEDED to do it. When I do take some time for myself, I’m a better mother, wife and person. It restores my soul.
Thank you so much, Ana! You’re absolutely right that we can’t give when our own tank is empty. I know this but am still learning to put it into practice. 🙂
Jodi, I love this post and so happy you know this!! and can share.
Beautifully done :)-
Hi Eileen – thanks so much for stopping by and sharing! 🙂
I recently posted 10+ Tips to Reduce Stress http://balanceandpower.com/tips.php
There’s only one you so….. It makes sense to look after yourself, regardless…..and do the things that make sense to you at that time…..like writing this blog post (and I’m glad that you did)
be good to yourself
David
Thanks, David! I’m glad I did, too! 🙂
Jodi, I applaud you for listening to your soul to write this piece instead of doing a million other “people-pleasing tasks.” You are an amazing woman with so much creativity that pours out of you all the time – it really inspires me. At the same time, I have yet to meet someone who loves giving as much as you do, and not because you need that to define you. To watch you listen to your soul to do something for you, while your guilt-ridden ego told you you shouldn’t, is a joy! And, thank you for reminding us all to listen to our soul! Lots of love to you!
Thanks so much, Alice!
You are such a light in my life. I appreciate you so much and love you even more!
Jodi,
Thank you for a timely reminder to slow down, tune in and connect with our inner guidance to see what we are ‘truly’ longing for. It’s very easy for us to get caught up in the busyness of ‘doing’ but our greatest joy and deepest truths comes through when we get still and listen.
I’ve been doing that more and more the last few months and in tuning in have found myself taking more time for self-care including three trips to my favorite beach where I just wiggle my toes in the sand, enjoy the sound of the waves, pull an Angel card & just “BE”.
What I find funny is that we THINK that we can’t possibly take time away from our busy lives and to-do lists but when you do – you receive the most amazing insights because you’ve taken the time to slow down.
As always thanks for the beautiful wisdom you share!
Thanks so much, Linda!
Your taking time in the last couple of weeks to go to the beach has truly been lifechanging for me. You really served as a positive example for me to see that it could be done. It has to be done, as we both know. And surprisingly, the world hasn’t fallen apart yet. 😉
I’m so grateful that you are such a dear friend who continues to inspire me to treat myself kindly.
Sending you lots of love!
That is a really a beautiful way to live life. We need to listen and take action focusing on what is right, although it is guaranteed that we may be right all the time.
Thank you so much for commenting, Janet!
Thanks a lot for sharing. I had actually never thought of life that way. What we do doesn’t always have to make sense.
I can never say No, never 🙁
Sending you love, Nikky.
Hey Jodi, loved reading this. I remember when I used to be a people-pleaser and still once in a while I catch it trying to resurface……….I totally love doing things that don’t make sense……….took me a while to get used to it, but it does feel good :).
Thanks for stopping by, Gina! I do still have that need to please, but I’m more aware of it than I used to be. I’m trying to take away the knee-jerk reaction to it. And you’re right – it feels amazing to do things for ourselves – just because we can! 🙂
Such a lovely, freeing post. Thanks so much, Jodi.
Thank you so much, Arwen! So happy you stopped by! 🙂
I’ve done a lot of work to get more in touch with my soul/intuition over the past few years (SoulCollage® helps a lot!) but I am still so used to letting my head do the talking/deciding. Thanks for a lovely reminder that Monkey!Brain should back off and let the much wiser parts of me run the show as much as possible.
Thanks for commenting, Nancy! I’m going to have to check out SoulCollage – sounds like my kind of fun! 🙂
Thank you for this post, Jodi – it resonated. I’m working on finding the right balance and it’s not easy… so thanks for the nudge. I think I’ll continue to need nudges for a while yet… I’ll be back! 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind words, Lisa! So glad you stopped by. We definitely all feed off of each other and remind each other constantly – in a good way. Glad we can be that for each other. 🙂
I so agree with this sentiment. I think when we begin to listen to ourselves it doesn’t seem to make sense as it’s so counter-cultural BUT once we begin, and over the course of time, we begin to see the wisdom within in it all and THEN it all makes perfect sense.
Thanks so much for commenting! You’re absolutely right that it may not make sense in our minds, but our soul will never lead us astray. It makes perfect sense in the bigger picture. 🙂
I love this x a million! It’s been a very, very (veryvery) hard lesson for me to just blow things off sometimes when I have things to do, but in the end it really works out for the best, because it’s something that I need (even if I really just think I need to be doing work) and I get so much more done (or at least done joyfully) in the end when I listen to that nudge.
Hi Dominee! I adore your blog and am so happy that we found each other! 🙂
It’s so true that we end up being even more productive in the long run if we just stop and shift to what we really want (and need on a soul level) to be doing. Love it!
Nope. These definitely don’t make any sense at all.
But I still think you should do them anyway.
Beautifully said, Jodi – I think the one thing that doesn’t make sense for me to do (except that it does, it does, it does, it does… just not in the moment I’m making the decisions!) is to get early nights. There’s always *something* else that “makes sense” to do at the moment where I’m making the decision to keep going with something I’m reading, writing or watching, or stop and go to bed. But long term, going to bed is the smarter, more sensible choice… I can just never remember that when I need to!
Blessings, and thanks for a great post
TANJA
Thank you, Tanja!
Like I told you in the forums, I totally agree with you about the early nights. It’s still not something that I’m able to do (as you can see from the time that I’m sending this reply)… 😉
But I am working toward that, and I know that I’ll feel so much better.
So glad you’re here! 🙂
I love this reminder that taking time for myself isn’t selfish or lazy – it’s a necessity! Thanks for sharing, love and light to you x
Thank you so much, Vanessa! You’re absolutely right that taking care ourselves is a necessity. It’s definitely not selfish – just the opposite. You’ll be able to give so much more when your own cup is full. 🙂