In my last post, I shared about how I’m reading E-Squared, which has me looking for signs of universal love, energy, and miracles that are all around me. It’s been exciting to open up to these signs and to really be aware of them. And what I’m seeing is that every single thing can be a sign – depending on how we look at it. And we get to decipher for ourselves what each sign means.

As many of you know, we lost our beautiful dog-ter, Xena, just over a year ago, which was followed by an intense period of grief and almost paralyzing sadness.

Everyone grieves differently. For me, it became as much a physical journey as an emotional one. I cried deeply every day for a year. I couldn’t sleep. After taking care of her and watching her vigilantly in the two years from when her health began to decline until she passed away, I found myself to in a state of complete exhaustion. My adrenal glands had been on full alert for years, and my mommy circuits were always plugged in. My body informed me that it could no longer continue in this way, and all I have been able to do for the last many months is rest and relax and heal.

 Xena is a member of my soul family, and I felt (and still feel) such a strong connection to her. I’ve received so many beautiful signs from her since she’s been on the other side. Some have been the “hit you over the head” kind, and others have been more subtle yet just as powerful. I love knowing that she’s still here loving and protecting us.

We knew after she died that we wouldn’t adopt another dog. We needed to grieve. Our bodies needed to recover. And after losing 17 furry kids in 17 years, my heart needed time to heal. I felt like this was my time to take care of myself. I’m just about to turn 40 and have been caring for animals since I can remember. I was always the one that strays found. I was the one who took them in and loved on them and gave them everything I had. And it’s been so rewarding to do that, and it’s not something that I would change. But something inside of me has been whispering over the past year or so that it’s time for me to give some of that love to myself and to honor this space of fatigue by actually resting and unplugging any circuits that aren’t absolutely essential.

I have carried this knowing in my heart for the past year, and I have begun my year of silence with this intention in mind: to rest, to relax, to recharge, and to heal – both emotionally and also physically. I’ve gotten really strong in this knowing and really secure with it. It feels right in every way.

I don’t believe that the universe tests us to see how strong our conviction is. But I do think that things happen in our life that we can grow from and learn more about ourselves in the process of experiencing them. 

I am currently in one such experience, and it’s been really heart and soul opening for me to go through. Last weekend, my husband and I found a sweet dog in the field behind our home. She was emaciated and couldn’t use one of her legs. She was scared and starving and exhausted. Animal services came and were going to take her, but we couldn’t imagine her going to stay in a kennel when she had already gone through so much. And so we volunteered to foster her and cover any vet bills while we looked for a forever home.

She is a sweetheart. And my heart strings started to feel tugged at each time I looked into her deep brown eyes. I completely forgot about my self-care journey and just thought about her needs and making sure she felt safe and loved and comfortable. I began to wonder if maybe we could adopt her – maybe I could somehow find the energy to take care of her – maybe she came into our life for a reason – maybe it was a sign from the universe that we were meant to be part of her family. So many maybes!

But the longer she was here, the more the maybes cleared away and I once again became clear in my own need to take care of myself. If anyone were going to sway me to adopt another animal, it would be Daisy Mae. (When I asked her what her name was, this is what I heard.) And yet, my body and my heart are absolutely certain that this is not her forever home and reminded me that sometimes I can help others in small ways without having to go all in. I realized that I could foster her for a little while and make sure she’s safe, but still honor my own needs and energy level by not making it a long-term commitment.

So here’s what I’m learning about signs: they are all around us. Everywhere. All of the time. And it’s up to us to stay on the lookout for them and then decipher their meaning. No one else can tell you what they mean. So many have told me that because Daisy came to me that it’s a sign that she is meant to stay with me. And believe me, I can see how this looks like what’s happening. But, when I’m able to span out my perspective a bit, I can see so clearly how her coming into my life was a loving reminder of how important my own self care is and a beautiful gift of remembering that I can help others while still taking care of myself.

That’s really huge for me.

And this sweet beautiful dog has given me this gift. It’s my hope that I will in turn be able to give her the gift of a forever family. 

I just love learning more about how our universe works. And I love seeing how we truly are the interpreters of our destiny. We get to sit with the signs and determine what they mean for us. That feels really empowering and loving to me, and I hope it does for you as well.

So the next time you receive what feels like a sign, please sit with it for a little while before determining what it means. And maybe refrain from asking another what they think it means until you have gotten some clarity around it first. You are truly the only one who can decipher it. You are the only one who can know how each experience feels within your own heart. That’s such a miracle.

Hugs,

P.S. – We’re having a huge sale on our Soul Clarity Cards! These cards are wonderful tools to help you connect with your soul. They normally cost $17.95 per deck, and you can save almost 60% on them this month only! The more you buy, the more you save! You can order them in quantities of 1, 3, 5, and 10. (And if you buy 10, you’ll also receive free shipping in the USA!)

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