I was watching a new game show on OWN called, Are You Normal, America? last week where the contestants try to determine whether certain situations are considered normal across America. The sociologist in me always perks up when I get to see how groups of people answer these interesting questions. Such as:
Is it normal to want to be President? or
Is it normal to let your pets sleep in your bed?
I started thinking about whether the way I live my life would be considered normal – whatever that may mean. After giving it some thought, I realized that I’m abnormal in many different ways.
How about you? Are you normal?
And if you’re not, would you want to be? Do you ever long to feel “normal” – whatever that means for you? Many of us (including me) went through the awkward junior-high phase where fitting in was all that mattered. We didn’t want to stand out or appear to be different in any way at all. We wanted to blend in and be a part of the crowd. And then as we got older, we started to see how fitting in was hurting our souls. We began to realize that we were square pegs who had spent our entire life trying to fit into a round hole. And we were no longer willing to sacrifice who we were for the sake of being accepted.
But…making this decision to stand strong in who we are isn’t always easy. The pull of the majority is strong and can’t be denied. While in many ways, I choose to live an abnormal life, I still feel that things would be “easier” if I could just learn to fit in. Wouldn’t life flow if I could just be okay with living a life that most people would be happy to live? Possibly. But I have tried it, and I was miserable. And I’ve come to realize that feeling happy is much more important than feeling normal.
So, here I am standing tall and sharing my so-called abnormalities with each of you:
- I don’t have a 9-5 job. I have been self employed for the past eight years – which means I have given up having the security of a steady paycheck, insurance, savings, etc. But it also means that I am my own boss; I get to decide what I want to do and when I want to do it; and I am in control of my own destiny. And I love that.
- I work A LOT. I have what I call an “inspired drive.” Nothing makes me happier than sharing my words and connecting with others who “get it.” That keeps me going and keeps me reaching out and connecting even more. Which means that I spend more hours than I care to admit working. I love what I do, and I feel so blessed that I get to live this way – inspiring, giving, sharing, and meeting all of you.
- I stay home most days. And I love it. I am such a sensitive person that when I go into the world, I end up feeling drained from taking on everyone’s energy that I have to come home and sleep. I love the cocoon that I have made for myself here at home. And I love the barrier that being online creates between my energy and the energy of everyone around me. I am so grateful that I’ve created a life that allows me to do this. I remember when I used to go to work everyday, I was never completely comfortable or happy. Thankfully, now I am. (I do enjoy my evening walks with my husband and our sweet dog though…which leads me to the next point.)
- I love my husband. I know that this may seem like a normal thing to say, but I still think it needs to be said. I love him in an abnormal kind of way. So often, when I talk to married couples, they look at their marriage as a sort of agreement or contract. They are “putting in the time” or “working hard to make things work.” In this lifetime, I hit the jackpot and found someone who is everything to me. And we have arranged our lives so that we could be together all of the time. ALL of the time. We have rarely been apart for more than a few hours for the past 10 years. I know that wouldn’t work for everyone, and it’s what makes us abnormal. And I love it (and him).
- I have chosen not to have kids. This one tends to push some buttons for people when I tell them this. From the time I was young, I knew deep down that I wasn’t ever going to be a mom. I never had the urge – quite the opposite, really. I loved animals, and all of my maternal instincts went to taking care of them. I am thrilled for anyone who wants to have children, but I love that I don’t have that responsibility. I love that I have complete freedom to live my life exactly how I want to live it. And I love that this decision makes me happy – normal or not.
- I have chosen to be vegetarian. This is another button pusher for some. I have never tried to convert anyone – we’re all on our own journey and we are all choosing our own paths. For me, it’s a decision that started 17 years ago when I slowly began to take meat out of my diet. I became vegan for many years and then decided to add eggs back in last year. And it works for me. No, it’s not normal. Definitely not. But I couldn’t imagine my life being any other way. I used to cry every time I ate meat, and I’m so happy that I can eat in peace now.
- I’m highly sensitive. I cry easily. I feel everything. If you’re hurting, I’ll be able to feel your pain physically. And I love this part of me. While it can be draining at times, I get to feel fully all of the time. And that’s a wonderful way to feel. But it’s definitely not normal.
- I spend my days immersing myself in the personal growth world. This may feel normal for many of you who grew up in areas that encouraged this, but I definitely did not. I grew up in the midwest where I worked at a local bookstore throughout high school. I was always drawn to the self-help section, and I loved the days when I got to shelve the new books there because it gave me a chance to be with my favorite books while still having a valid excuse for being there. I didn’t want to be the one who was misunderstood or considered to have mental problems, which is how it was viewed back then.
So there you have it. Some of the ways that I’m definitely not normal – some of the ways that I go against the grain of our society. And you know what? It’s okay. We all have parts of us that will never be normal – will never fit in. And the more we can learn to embrace these parts of ourselves, the happier we will be in our own skin.
We are all finding our own way in this world. We are all creating new paths and forging ahead into the unknown together. We are all completely abnormal in one way or another. And that’s completely normal.
How in your life are you abnormal? Are you able to embrace these parts of yourself? If not, do you think you might be willing to try? Please comment below – we’d all love to read your thoughts!
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P.S. – Today is the last day to join the Goddess Circle at the discounted price! It doubles at midnight PST 7/3! I’m giving away our ENTIRE Soulful Journals Ebook Series (a $65 value) to anyone who joins through me! Click here for all of the details!
OMG Jodi we have a lot in common! Pretty much everything except for the vegetarian thingy…….I eat mainly plant based and eggs too! But if I crave meat, as in chicken, I’ll have it, but I only get the humanely raised chicken. I was all vegetarian for 1 & 1/2 years and during that time I was diagnosed with the auto immune issue I have……..I’m not blaming it on being vegetarian then, but in a way I feel like my body wasn’t as strong……..anyways…..loved reading this and your abnormalities :).
Hi Gina,
I was on your site the moment you commented here – how’s that for being in sync? 🙂
It’s so nice that we have a lot in common – I definitely felt vulnerable sharing all of my abnormalities, and it’s wonderful when others come forward and share they have the same ones. 😉
I hope your health has improved and that you’ve found the diet that makes you feel the healthiest.
So glad we’re connected!
it’s fun being weird & abnormal! 🙂
oh, and yes, how in sync are we!!!
Hi Jodi! I am a total not normal person either… I share many of your ‘weird’ qualities. I admire and respect how much you cherish yourself in that you have set up a life that completely honors your sensitivity. I’m working on doing the same, bit by bit. 🙂 Fabulous post, thank you so much for writing it.
Hi Marla,
Thanks so much for your kind words. Like I said, there are days where I wonder if it would be easier to just go get a “normal” job – but something inside of me keeps at it. That’s the part of me that’s filled with faith, and my life tends to flow much more easily when I listen to that part. 🙂
I am now going to go check out your post about the garlic bok choy – yum!
Thanks for this Jodi, I think ‘normal’ is a hugely overrated and possibly non existent ‘quality’ which serves only to constrict and control. Thanks for sharing your own lovely weirds, especially about the sensitivity…I relate!
Hi Fran,
Thanks so much for your comment! Yes, being normal is hugely overrated and definitely not something that I want in my life. I just want to be me, and sometimes that will fall into the “normal” category by most standards and sometimes it won’t. But as long as we’re each living our own life, we’re good to go! 🙂
Oh, how I love being abnormal, and sharing this wonderful abnormal life with soul sisters like you, Jodi. Thank you for being so beautifully, authentically YOU!
So much love,
Alia
Thank you, sweet Alia!
I love sharing this abnormal life with you, too! That feels so normal to me. 🙂
Love to you!
Hi Jodi,
Love learning more about you. I have many things in common with you, and don’t feel normal either. At some point in our lives, we let go of what makes us appear normal and embrace who we really are. You are unique and how great is that!
Hi Cathy!
You’re so right that there comes a point in our life where we have just had enough of trying – going against the current in our own soul is exhausting. And I’m just not willing to do it anymore. I look forward to hearing more about all of the ways that you aren’t normal! 🙂
I accept that my normal isn’t everyone else’s. I love my life. I think, for me, the condept of what’s normal comes down to judging myself against others. You know…how do I measure up (or down). I do my best not to do that any more. Jodi, I’m loving your blog, woman!
Thank you so much, Arwen! I love that – your normal just isn’t everyone else’s. So true. And I’ve found that it helps to surround myself with friends who think that what I’m doing and how I live is completely normal. I have found my soul family, which makes such a difference.
I liked the paradigm shift of accepting being who we are, especially creating the possibility for liberation for people like me, who were the round pegs being judged by more normal square types, and hiding 99% of our creativity. No more! And as I once saw said on a TV show, “It takes being a little cracked to let the light shine in.” Who wants to be mediocre anyway and striving for something no one can reach.
Hi Claudia,
I’m so glad that you’re no longer okay with hiding your creativity – the world needs to see it!
I love that quote – it’s so true. Perfection is a myth, and it’s just exhausting to try to reach it anyway. It’s so much more fun to just be who we were born to be! 🙂
Loved reading this Jodi 🙂
For decades I tried to be normal, then I finally let it go. I no longer whether someone thinks I’m normal or not. It’s quite liberating.
I do get odd looks from the Moms when I take ballet 1 – I’m in class with the 10 year olds (their kids). But it’s so good for working on technique, great warm up before the adult class, and it’s fun to dance with the young ones.
Trying to be normal was a no win situation & often just left me feeling badly.
I love the freedom of choosing to just live authentically.
Thanks, Aileen! 🙂
I love that you’re taking ballet 1 in spite of the looks that you’re getting! I love that you listen to your soul and honor it. And you’re right – when we don’t, we end up just feeling badly about ourselves. And that’s no fun at all. Dance on!
I just look at what you described as “standing in your truth.” You know how many people are unhappy because they are following what the herd does, but by the same token, some people WANT that kind of inclusion. To each his own, I guess!
I would not want your deal, and you would not want mine. The point is, are you HAPPY – because happiness tends to point toward living the life a person was meant to live (getting close to their truth).
One observation: sensitivity to the feelings of others and empathy is not meant to be absorbed. The goal with this is to manage your own energy.
Yes, there is something very comforting about following the herd. But what I suggest is that we figure out what makes us happy and then find our own tribe within that. Then it’s a win win!
I completely agree with you about managing my empathy. While I never want to tone it down, I am using tools to not take in everyone’s energy. It works to a degree, but I still end up exhausted. It’s something to work toward. And in the meantime, I’m enjoying my cocoon.
Thanks for commenting, Julie! You always get me thinking. Hugs to you for that!
Jodi,
I love your unnormal!
I would say hubs and I are tied at the hip…however it’s a good thing we don’t work together! So we untether except for when he comes home for lunch during the day.
Oh I so feel the pain of others. I can’t watch anything violent because I’d be twisted in knots.
Unnormal for me is being married 40+ years at my age. Other than that I’m just plain weird. lol
Your abnormalities seem completely normal to me. You know how much I think you rock.
I think it’s so great that you have been with your hubby for that long – amazing! And I love how you love each other and support each other endlessly.
I’m with you on violence – can’t watch it or hear about it. No news, nothing. It’s just not worth it to me.
Have a wonderful time at the summit this weekend! Sending love to you!
Hi Jodi:
I agree that being normal is overrated and so unnecessary. Who invented normal anyway? I applaud you for this post. Everyday I work with students who are trying to “fit in” with their gifts, strengths and challenges and it is so freeing to support them to be themselves. Like the famous quote, “be yourself, everyone else is taken”.
I share your emotional sensitivity. I used to pretend I wasn’t sensitive. I have learned to simply accept myself and be. Thanks for your post. Be well.
Hi Tanya! That’s one of my favorite quotes – it’s so affirming.
Being emotionally sensitive definitely isn’t always accepted in our society, but I love this part of myself – and I love meeting others who share this quality. So yay for both of us! 🙂 It’s a beautiful way to be. Hugs to you!
Amazing how similar our not-normals are. Normal is boring – I’ve had a Fido Dido poster that said that for years now and it has moved with me everywhere. Not being normal actually hurt for a long time before I started becoming comfortable. My life was unconventional, to say the least 😀 but so much fun. Change is always so delightful!
Hi Vidya! I had a feeling you were a kindred spirit. 🙂
I love how you also live with your heart on your sleeve – you love well. And that shows in all that you write. I applaud you for loving your abnormalities – I think they are wonderfully normal! Hugs!
Normal = zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Introverted, highly sensitive, nerdy or a “personal development junkie, or anything outside the image that society pushes as cool. Hell yeah!
BTW I’m reading The Big Leap per your recommendation and it’s awesome! I’m also reading fearless by Steve Chandler and he talks about basically congratulating oneself for being a self-help “junkie”. This is something I came to realize this year that I love self-help and personal development and won’t stop, and for a long time I though something was “wrong with me” because of it. And it’s considered normal to take dangerous FDA approved brain altering substances to mentally/emotionally heal, which is primarily a money game. Silly I tell ya.
Keep being you, your work here is great and I’m excited to see how you and your work continues to develop Jodi!
Thanks, David!
I agree that it’s a funny world we live in when wanting to better ourselves and get in touch with our souls and really strive to live fully and authentically can sometimes be considered strange or abnormal.
I think it’s wonderful that the internet has made our world so much smaller, and we are now able to find our tribe much more easily. Feeling a part of a community is so important – feeling that others really get you can be so healing and freeing.
I’m so glad you’re enjoying The Big Leap! I haven’t read Fearless, but I just added it to my list.
I’m so glad we’re on this journey together – your insights are always spot on and your words so encouraging.
Hugs to you!
P.S. – On my list today is to catch up on email – so expect one from me at some point. 🙂
Oh, you sound as abnormal as me! Have you ever looked up Elaine Aron and her Highly Sensitive Person website? http://www.hsperson.com/ That sounds like you (and me) and I’ve been described as that. Sensitive to everything, cry at anything, hate loud noises and bright lights, absorb other people’s moods, the lot. I’m abnormal for that, and because I’m a size 22 (UK) and much more!
Hi Sarah! I love Elaine Aron’s book and workbook! I’m an HSP, too. And you’re absolutely right that it means that we’re wired in a way that makes us sensitive not just to emotions but to sounds, smells, and any external stimuli. But it also makes us highly empathetic and in tune with our world. And that’s a great thing! So glad we’re here together! 🙂
You sound pretty normal to me especially the part about animals and being so sensitive! I work from home and my husband used to too and we loved being together while others said they’d be divorced if they had to do that. He now works outside the home but calls all throughout the day. 🙂
I couldn’t imagine a life without fuzzy friends around me all of the time. And I know you can agree with this. 🙂 In fact, right now as I’m typing, I have 2 kitties watching my every move. They are my little ducklings who follow me everywhere I go. So cute and sweet.
I’m glad you and your sweetie love spending time together, too! It’s a wonderful feeling!
🙂
Jodi, you sound perfectly ‘normal’ to me which probably means I’m absolutely not normal either. Whatever you are, I think you’re lovely. One of the sweetest souls I know. Thank you for being…you…
Elle
xoxo
You are so sweet, Elle. Thank you so much. You are so giving and loving. I truly am so grateful for our connection.
Because of you, I have started creating an intention before I start a task. And an outcome for how I’ll feel at the end of it.
Thank you for that. Hugs and love!
Jodi, I love your abnormalities. They make you you. I have my set. Some are similar to yours and others are different. I think that it’s important to stay true to who we are and not compromise just to earn acceptance. This is a life-long lesson with the stakes rising with each go-round. Sometimes our uniqueness can separate us from people we care about because they just can’t accept us.
Love this post Jodi. Thanks!
All you HSPs rule! 🙂 I’m one too, just took her test again the other day for the fun of it on her site, 21 questions I scored in the HSP zone on Elaine’s test.
Glad you’re an HSP, too! Although I’m not surprised. 🙂 I remember when I first read her book several years ago, I thought, “Oh this explains so much.” A light definitely went off then when I checked off every question on the test. I love knowing why things are the way they are, and her book cleared up so much!
Here is the link to the test for anyone who wants to take it:
http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm
Hello my beautiful friend,
Here’s to all us “abnormals” who are living our truth, shining our light and loving life! Nice to see so many of you embracing your uniqueness and your gifts. The world needs more of us who can step outside of the ‘norm’ and create from a place of truth.
So to all ‘abnormals’ who may feel they can’t or don’t fit in – take a moment to hear and embrace this truth:
YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO FIT IN! You are uniquely, Divinely YOU! Embrace it!
Beautifully said, Linda!
You’re so right – we weren’t meant to fit in – we were meant to live our truth. And embrace our truth. You are definitely a living example of someone who does exactly that!
So much love to you, my dear friend!
Jodi, your “not normal” is so totally beautiful to me.
Sending you a ton of love today.
Thank you so much, Julia! I’m receiving your love and sending you love right back. Big hug to you!
Jodi – I am right there with you on most of your “abnormalities” except the vegetarian thing. It’s refreshing to find someone who shares many of the same “abnormals.” The one that I find most difficult is my husband and my decision not to have children. With so much of our families (and friends) being so baby-centered, it’s difficult not to feel like a complete outsider. Add on that I don’t have a day job (haven’t had one since 2006), do my own work, have become a bit of a homebody (like yourself) and am very sensitive, I’m happy to find someone who can relate. Thanks for the article!
Hi Laura,
Thanks for your comment! It is always nice to meet someone who gets what I’m talking about. So thank you! I do know that feeling of being an outsider – when what’s in your heart isn’t the same as what’s in the majority’s. And I commend you for holding true and embracing who you are in spite of feeling on the outside. I look forward to getting to know you better! 🙂
Hi Jodi,
You are ‘normal’ if you think you are normal…..abnormalities only creep in when you start comparing yourself with others…do what you want to do my friend
be good to yourself
David
Hi David,
That’s very true. It’s only when we start comparing ourselves to others that the troubling emotions start to creep in. Great point! 🙂
I LOVE how you love not being normal! I’m abnormal in many ways (not exactly similar to you), and I’m learning to embrace it! I also used to love poring over the self-help books in high school, and have recently fully embraced that part of myself. Thank you for posting this! It’s beautiful!
Hi Lindsay! Thank you for your comment! 🙂
I love that you’re embracing your abnormalities – life just feels so much lighter when we can do that. To both of us I say, “Keep reading!” These wonderful books got me through some rough times, and they continue to open me up to new points of view. So glad you’re here!
I’m not really sure what normal is, but I sure do love being surprised by people and seeing diversity around.
So nice to see you here, Marla! I completely agree that the world would be a very boring place if we were all the same. 🙂
Jodi,
Thank you so much for opening up to us! We have learned so much more about what makes you the wonderful person you are, and the great inspiration you have become to many! Keep being the “not normal” person you are, because we love you for it! Thanks for the wonderful inspiration and message today! 🙂
Thanks so much, Victor! Posts like these always make me feel especially vulnerable – but as I get more comfortable in my own skin, I’m coming out and sharing more of what makes me tick with everyone. And seeing the support that comes pouring in because of it means the world to me. I’m so grateful that you’re a part of my life – your heart is one of the biggest that I’ve seen. Hugs to you, my friend!
With your post and all the comments, you have helped me realize that being abnormal really is not a bad thing. I think it’s time to work on becoming ok with that and at peace with who I am. As a fellow INFJ I can identify with much of what you’ve said. Thanks for all the food for thought Jodi.
Thank you so much for your comment, Mara! 🙂 I love meeting a fellow INFJ – there aren’t very many of us out there! I do believe that the more we can embrace who we authentically are, the happier we will be. And it’s so freeing to stand proud and show the world your true self. 🙂
Jodi….As I was reading your post, the word that kept on going through my mind was ‘sweet, sweet, sweet’. How you described yourself and your life is truly ‘divine’.
Not Normal…HA!! I don’t know when it happened but at a certain point in my life…somewhere between digging in the dirt all day and pulling my kids out of school and homeschooling them, I came to grips with the fact that i wasn’t normal. The first time a friend of mine called me ‘eccentric’, I flinched. Now I consider it a badge of honor.
dear Jodi….you are not abnormal….your are simply fabulous! ooxx-Fran
Thank you, Fran! You are so sweet for saying that, and you brought a smile to my heart! 🙂
I love that you embrace being called eccentric – I would, too! Who knows, maybe I am being called that and don’t even know it? 😉 I love surrounding myself with other people who are also living consciously – rather than simply going through the motions, they really look at their lives and create their lives. We are definitely doing that, which makes me so happy. Hugs to you!
Is anybody “normal,” really? I definitely know I’m judged as a bit odd for some of the ways I live and think – for instance, my husband and I are taking our kids to Belize for three weeks this month with the possibility of a longer-term house sitting experience come fall. Most of our friends hear this and say, “Wait… WHAT?” 🙂
I love this post for its honesty and for reminding me that other people exist who don’t do things in the traditional way. Both the post and your lifestyle show your courage.
Yours in weirdness,
Domini 🙂
Hi Domini – thanks for stopping by!
Thank you so much for your kind words. I applaud you for having the courage to follow your dreams, even if they go against the grain. What a wonderful experience for your entire family to have – something that your kids will carry with them for the rest of their lives.
I think that you’re giving them a beautiful gift. 🙂
My dear Jodi, thank goodness you’re “abnormal,” or we couldn’t be as close as we are! 🙂 One of my favorite lines is from the movie, “What A Girl Wants”: Why do you try so hard to fit in, when you’re born to stand out? I try to remember that as often as I can, and that’s part of being “abnormal.” You’re clearly born to stand out, and I’m so glad you do so beautifully, as it helps the rest of us to feel ok to stand out “abnormally” too. Love you lots!
Thank goodness we can be abnormal together! I love that movie line – it’s so true and one worth remembering. Your words are always so loving and supportive. Thank you for being such a dear friend. I love you back! 🙂
Why settle for “normal” when I can have YOU?!! 🙂
All of your “not normal” individual traits just make me love you more!
A great piece and a great beacon for everyone torn between trying to fit in or just being themselves–the latter (while not always the easier path) is always worth it! You’re a shining example of that!
…
I feel exactly the same about you. You are absolutely everything that I could have ever dreamed of, and I love that you’re not normal. You’re so much better than normal. I love you with everything that I am. …
OMG Jodi. I could’ve written this post. I’m serious, it’s like you pulled every word right out of my head. Except, I don’t love your husband… LOL:
I am definitely not normal and never have been. And like you, I used to try to fit into that mold and I was miserable. Now, I don’t follow any rules, not even my own. I just live as much as I can in the moment and it’s bliss. Sometimes it’s still a teensy bit scary, but even then, it feels better than it did when I was denying my true nature.
Thank you for this wonderful post!!!
Huge hugs!
Melody
Ok, I just saw your husbands comment and I take it back. I may, in fact, love your husband.
You guys are so freaking cute! :o)
I love knowing that we have so much in common! 🙂 Whatever you’re doing – keep it up. It’s amazing – just like you. I love the freshness in your writing. Your voice comes through beautifully, and I’m so glad. Let’s hold hands across the world in our abnormalness!
And you can love my husband, too. He’s just that lovable and that amazing. 😉
I related to quite a few of the qualities you shared–especially choosing to not have children, enjoying spending all my time with my husband and dog, as well as loving to stay home. It made me think of all the times I felt judged as selfish for those things. Your post made me think that we all need to make a list of those things for ourselves as a way to celebrate our uniqueness. I love those things about myself because I think that I know myself well enough to chose correctly for me and that’s truly what is most important. Thanks Jodi!
Hi Kayla,
Thanks so much for commenting! 🙂
It’s nice to see that we have so much in common. I love your idea of making a list of all of the ways that we are each unique. And then celebrate it rather than feel badly about it.
I’m glad that you’re honoring these parts of yourself and living your life in the way that feels the most authentic for you.
Yay! 🙂