I’ve been in a reflective space these last few days.

One exercise in the Soulful Journaling Ecourse that we gave away was to go back and read through your old journals to find patterns that you’ve carried throughout your life.

I’ve been doing this over the past week and had no idea that it would be such a powerful release for me. I never wanted to read through my journals before – it just seemed too painful because I always wrote in them when I was hurting or angry or afraid or sad, and I really didn’t want to relive those moments again.

But, what I found is that enough time had passed from that pain and where I am today. Enough time to allow me to be a compassionate observer. Enough time to go back to those times and hold my hand – to let the me that I was then know that it would all be okay.

I started to see patterns that were huge surprises: how I used sickness throughout my life to excuse myself from living fully, how I used my journal as a vent book rather than a place to share what I was grateful for, how hard I was on myself, etc.

But something happened while I was reading these old entries that I hadn’t expected: I began to release the pain that still surrounded the words from so long ago. I could float above the words and bring all of the perspective that I’ve gained simply by being alive and by growing and maturing into that space and release my own guilt and my own pain.

I carried a lot of guilt over my divorce 11 years ago, and going back through my journals has allowed me to see the cracks in my relationship and how there truly was nothing more that either of us could’ve done (or should’ve done) to stay together. We were together for seven years, and not breaking up was our focus for six of those years.

Looking back, I was able to see how young I was. How I was still growing and maturing. How I was still getting to know myself. How I was still figuring out how to live in this world. How I was still learning how to communicate and share my life with someone.

And I’m so grateful that I went back and read through this time in my life – one of the hardest times I’ve been through, actually. It helped me heal the part of me who carried the blame. It helped me let go of the pain. And it helped me be grateful that it ended – that we were both free to be happy.

So, whether you’re taking our course or not, I definitely recommend this exercise.

If you have been journaling throughout your life, I would encourage you to take some time to read through your journals as a compassionate observer rather than an active participant. 

Allow yourself to release the pain from these periods throughout your life.

Allow yourself to say goodbye to whatever blame and anger you’re still holding onto.

Give yourself permission to move on – free and clear with gratitude and love for where you are right now. Knowing that each and every moment in your life happens exactly how it’s supposed to. And time helps us see how that is true. 

I would love for you to give yourself this gift of reflection and forgiveness and release, just like I gave it to myself. 

It’s been such a freeing experience. I feel so much lighter and more clear about why everything happened in the way it did. I feel like I know myself more deeply now. And most of all, I feel like I can embrace myself rather than continue to chastise myself. And that is worth everything.

Whether you journal or not, and whether you go through this exercise or not, please know this:

We all have the ability within us to heal from our past.

We all have the power to choose to let it all go and to move forward without the heaviness of it.

We do not need to stay stuck in who we used to be or who we may have become.

We get to decide who we are each moment that we take a new breath in. And we get to become that person. 

Who do you want to be? 

I wish so much happiness and lightness for all of us. I really do.

Big hug!

P.S. – If you haven’t already, click here to join the Soulful Journaling Ecourse for free. (This exercise comes in Week 2.)