I’ve noticed lately more than ever that giving is considered virtuous. The more you give, the better you are. So guess what we all do? We give and give and give even more. I am certainly guilty of this. I love to give. I love working with others who also have generous spirits. It feels good to give, right? We feel good about ourselves when we make someone feel better.
And all of this is good. Except for one thing.
What happens when we are so busy giving and giving and giving to others and making their lives better and happier and fuller that we forget to give to ourselves?
What happens when we live in a world where giving to ourselves is oftentimes considered selfish and unimportant and even a foreign concept by so many?
What happens when we give and give and give and wake up one day with a cup that is completely empty? We have given our last drop. We have nothing left to give. We have nothing left to offer.
Now what?
How can we help others now? How can we put good and love into the world now? How can we serve and fulfill our calling now?
We can’t. We are too tired, too burned out, too empty. Because we gave, gave, and gave some more to everyone besides ourselves.
Giving is an amazing feeling. I can’t think of anything better than knowing that you have touched someone else’s life with your actions, your words, your love. Nothing can compare.
But I am no longer willing to stand by and watch so many of us give until we are completely empty. I am no longer willing to stand by and watch each of us give to everyone besides ourselves. I am no longer willing to watch you do it to yourself, and I am not longer willing to do it to myself.
Don’t you think it’s time we took a stand? Can we all look ourselves in the eyes and know that we are worth our own love, our own time, our own care? Can we be gentle with ourselves and spend time each and every day filling up our own cups so that we will be able to continue giving and serving and loving?
Can we agree that it’s okay to love ourselves?
Can we admit that self care isn’t bad? That self love isn’t bad? That a full cup isn’t bad? Can we see that these are good things to have in our lives? Can we agree that they are absolutely essential?
I have spent years giving from an almost empty cup. But I am realizing that it’s time to fill it up, so that I can continue to give. I hope you’ll join me and fill up your own cup, too. I know you have so much to offer, and I want you to be able to serve the world like only you can.
You can do this however it feels right for you. If you would like to take 20 minutes each night to write in your journal, do it! If you want to take one day a week and declare it your self care day, do it! If you want to make sure to meditate each day, do it! If you want to take a bubble bath, do it! If you want to go to a movie, do it!
Whatever you need to give to yourself, please do it. You matter, and you deserve it. You really do.
If you are with me, please share this on Facebook and Twitter (buttons below). Let’s let everyone know that self care is a good thing! Loving ourselves is a good thing! Yes, let’s do that! 🙂
Jodi,
Yes! I am with you. I think your 28-Day Self Care challenge is just what I need right now.
Alex
Oh good, Alex! You are definitely a giver, too. I am constantly inspired by all that you do for others.
It helps me to remember that self care doesn’t have to be an overwhelming task – we can simply take 5 minutes each day to center ourselves, which will make so much difference.
No matter how we choose to honor ourselves, the fact that we’re doing something is so important. Glad you’re in it with me! 🙂
Hi Jodi,
There’s a difference (big) between ‘giving’ and ‘depleting’. If we deplete ourselves to an extent where we cannot give then nothing is gained. Like most things, balance is important.
Giving/sharing is vitally important however I believe giving starts with self in order to give effectively to others.
be good to yourself
David
Hi David,
You’re so right that there is a difference between healthy giving and giving to the point of depletion. And we’re the only ones who can know how full our own cup is. It’s all about balance, for sure!
Jodi, thanks for this.
I was reminded, when I saw the heart with “you matter too”, of visiting my late husband in hospital during his illness. I was there every day, all day, till ten at night. The Dr said to me on one occasion, those exact words, “you matter too”.
I thought about it for a while. Contemplated not being there all the time and realized I wasn’t just doing it for him, I was doing it for me…I needed to be there for my own peace of mind. I was giving to myself. For me it was the right balance. But as you say, we need to make sure we are loving ourselves too.
Encourage one another.
Elle.
Hi Elle,
My heart truly goes out to you for losing your husband. I would have done the same thing as you – spent every minute at the hospital.
I think it’s a matter of being conscious of our own needs rather than putting everyone else’s first.
Sending you love.
Just over a year ago I noticed that I spent more time giving than I really had (the ultimate overdrawn checkbook). It was like I was trying to repay some giant cosmic debt. Maybe I was slightly addicted to that good feeling you get when you give – I just kept giving until I caught a glimpse of a woman who was exhausted, overweight, angry, living in a cluttered house – all because I was soooo busy giving… did it make me holier than everyone who wasn’t giving as much as me? Slowly, I’ve started to withdraw from the various organizations that LOVED me because I gave (note to self: If I’m giving my time, the paid employees get a great deal – of course they “love” you). I’m taking time to figure out what I really want (it’s hard – I think I’ve forgotten who I am and what I really like). I’ll have to get back to you on this…. (I’m bookmarking this post)
Bravo to you for reclaiming your life and putting your own needs back on the table! I admire you for this, and I thank you for being so honest with your feelings. You have such a giving heart and spirit, but I’m so glad that you realized that you can give to yourself, too.
I think you’ll find that you never really went away – you just got pushed down. You’ve always been there though, and now that you have given yourself the gift of time, it will be wonderful to discover your wants and needs again.
What a beautiful opportunity! Definitely come back and fill us all in on your progress. So happy for you!
Jodi,
This is just what I need right now! I’m so tired and overwrought right now with working on two big projects.
I’m in! Thank you,
Angela xoxo
Jodi, such a beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing the challenge. I’m truly grateful that we’ve been connected and I’m so happy that you’re participating and meditating every day. Accountability is so important and it’s awesome to have amazing people like you at my side! xo
Jodi,
I am so ready and way overdue as so many of seem to be these days. I was just gearing up to start doing exactly this during the past few weeks. Sounds terrific!
Hi Jodi – I love this challenge and what I’m reading here. I’ve never been good at making time for myself but have gotten better at it in the last few years. What I’ve learned is that just doing a little something each day makes all the the difference. I see that you’ve committed to five minutes a day of meditation. I meditate each morning for five to ten minutes and it puts my soul in the the right place for the rest of the day. This is new behavior for me. Why? Because I once believed that meditation only mattered if it lasted at least an hour!
Thanks for all you do to open our hearts and minds – Lois
Every word your write here resonates with me. I know the feeling of depletion and it destroyed my life some years ago. I take a lot of me time now and I have opened myself to receive. I am so thrilled to have won one of your giveaways. What an awesome gift you and Lisa have given me. I speak to her tomorrow and I am so excited.
Thanks Jodi for the love and joy you send my way. I send you back some too.
love and hugs to all.