I’m never going to be like you.
I could try and try with every ounce of my being, but I still would be a lesser version of you than you already are. I could put all of my focus into acting like you, talking like you, writing like you, being like you – and you would still be better at being you than I ever could.
I know that this seems like a silly thing to say because it seems sort of obvious, but I still think it needs to be said. So many of us spend more hours than we probably care to admit to comparing ourselves to others. We see that they do something well, and we want to do it better. And when we can’t, we beat ourselves up about it and tear ourselves down for not being better at ________.
I certainly have been guilty of comparing myself to others and feeling that I wasn’t measuring up. But you know what I have realized? Everyone that I have compared myself to would be an extremely watered-down version of me if they tried to be me. If they tried to write like me or think like me or act like me, I would always be a better version of me than they ever could. It works both ways, doesn’t it?
So wouldn’t it make sense then for all of us to stop trying to be someone that we aren’t and instead focus on simply being who we already are? Think about how much less energy we would expend if we went about our days just being ourselves. If we focused on being the best version of ourselves that we could be, it would still take much less energy than trying to be someone we aren’t.
The world needs all of us to shine and share our gifts. So the next time you start comparing yourself to someone else, thank them for doing what they do best: being exactly who they are. And then thank yourself for doing the same.
Dearest Jodi,
A couple of things,
1) Thank you for entering my life, connecting with you and learning what makes you unique these last few days has been heart warming and fun.
2) You and I are connected, My post today talked about the importance of having the courage to be yourself so I love that you are sharing this message of being yourself and not try to fin into the vision someone else has for us.
Very timely message and so deeply needed in the world today.
Lots of love your way,
-Bern
Hi dear Bern,
I loved your video today – so timely and definitely a message that we all need to hear. It doesn’t surprise me that we both posted about this today. We have an instant connection, and I’m so grateful that we have met.
Hugs to you!
Jodi
Yes, and thank goodness we are all so different – otherwise it would be a pretty boring universe 🙂
Anytime I am confronted with some unlovely feeling toward someone – which fortunately is rare these days, compared to before – I remember that it is just a signal for me to understand why. What is it that I am missing, that I would like to be, or where I could become more of what I wish to be? Those feelings and thoughts are a chance for us to reflect upon what we’ve been missing about ourselves, that’s calling out for us to take notice.
Great point!
Hey Julie!
That is such a great point to recognize that when these feelings come up and we start to compare ourselves to others to step back and ask why – what’s missing from our own life – and what do we need to pay attention to.
Thank you so much for adding this!
Jodi,
Love the Oscar Wilde quote at the beginning! I agree that while it seems rather obvious, we don’t always recognize our beauty. So glad to have discovered your page.
Hi Betsy,
I love that quote, too!
It’s sometimes easier to see the beauty outside of ourselves, isn’t it? But if we can recognize our own beauty and our own unique gifts, life seems to flow so much easier.
I’m so glad we’ve connected. 🙂
Jodi
Hi Jodi,
It’s one way we create our own suffering…comparing ourselves to others. We have strong egos that say “we are not enough.” The more I love me as I am the more I can allow you to be as you are. Isn’t life grand?
Those darn egos! 😉 Like we talked about before, so much of our suffering comes from a lack of self love. I truly think that this is the heart of everything. And you’re absolutely right – the more we love ourselves, the more we can allow others to be exactly who they are. So true! 🙂
I’ve also heard another version “Be yourself. Who else is better qualified?” and remember writing it on the first page of all my text books in school :-). Of course, from time to time, when we come across someone or something we appreciate, I guess it is natural to want to reach a higher level. Still, nothing like our own voice to speak.
Lovely post.
I haven’t heard that one – I love it! 🙂
You’re absolutely right that wanting to reach higher levels is perfectly natural, and definitely a good thing. I think the difficulty comes in when we try to be someone we aren’t or we spend so much time comparing ourselves to others that we forget about our own gifts.
Well said my sweet soul sister. Boy, lately I’ve had the jitters worrying about some stuff, comparing myself to others—I needed this gentle reminder/kick in the pants. Thank you for following the unction!
Love, love, love!
Leah
You’re so welcome, my dear friend!
I have been known to worry and push and fret, too. 😉
And then I get still and centered and remember that my gifts are pretty awesome. And so are yours. You have such a beautiful, poetic, vivid writing style that flows out of you. That’s such a brilliant gift, my friend. (And that’s just one of your many talents.)
I’m so proud of you for releasing your Cosette into the world – I can’t wait to hold her in my hands.
So much love to you!
Jodi
Yep…our minds have been so conditioned to compare ourselves to others. I catch myself all the time, and each time I get caught in the comparison conversation, I practice letting go. I used to try to fight or change my mind, but that was a losing battle. So for me, allowing the conversation to come (cause it will) and then practicing awareness and letting it go, is what works for me. Over, and over again. Maybe someday it will disappear, but I doubt it. If it does, great! If it doesn’t, great! I just do my best to stay in the flow, of letting it go! 🙂
That’s such a great advice, David. Rather than continuing to resist this inclination to compare ourselves to others, to just let it flow through us instead. That definitely will take the power away from it. Great!
Hi Jodi,
Love the post. Great reminder to just be ourselves, discover our own gifts and talents and be happy with just who we are. For some this is a longer road, but we only shine when we are the real thing. Take care.
Thank you so much, Cathy!
You’re so right that we only shine when we’re being completely authentic. And everything flows so much easier then, too. 🙂