Category Archives: self love

Finding (Insert Your Name Here)…

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Have you seen the new show on the Oprah Winfrey Network called Finding Sarah?
 It’s about Sarah Ferguson’s (the Duchess of York) journey toward finding herself. 
She has truly hit rock bottom in both her life and her self worth, and it’s really heartbreaking to watch her struggle to go within and find her soul again. She has been through so much in her life (being a member of the royal family and all of the rules that go along with it, being tormented by the press through the years, and sabotaging any good that came her way due to a lack of self worth).
And while she has had a life that none of us can even begin to imagine, she is still extremely relatable. I think we can all find bits of ourselves in her – struggling to find where we fit in, trying to get to know who we are deep inside after taking away all of the externals, distorted views of our physical appearance, seeking approval from others, wanting to please, afraid to express anger, living with so much regret, hurt and sad over events that occurred in childhood, afraid that you will never be whole again, feeling lost and broken…

She brings all of these insecurities and issues to the surface with a yearning to fill herself up with love – her own love. She longs to love herself fully for the first time in her life.

I can empathize with her so deeply – for the pain she has gone through, the mistakes she has made in her life, and for the loss of self that she is experiencing.

And while the externals are different, we all can relate to her struggles.
We have all been there to some degree at some point in our life.
Maybe we are there right now.

And she is so brave to be vulnerable enough to show her authentic self – before she has it all figured out.
We are all works-in-progress. We are all just trying to figure it all out. My hat truly goes off to Sarah for being brave enough to let us go on this journey with her.

I definitely recommend that you watch it.
I guarantee you will learn something about yourself in the process.

Pushing Through the Obstacles

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Sometimes we are on a roll in our lives where everything feels like it’s going really well and flowing effortlessly. 
And then we add something new – something that is out of the norm from our every day life. We stretch a little bit out of our comfort zone and expect things to continue flowing. 
And sometimes they do. 
 But sometimes we come across obstacles where we didn’t expect them to be. 
Sometimes we even come across road blocks that seem to be right in the way of reaching our dreams.
When this happens, take a look at these obstacles and notice where they are coming from and what messages they are conveying.
Are they coming from fear – is our ego stepping in and warning us that it might be scary to try new things?

Are they coming from outdated beliefs that we have about achieving success and finding true happiness?

Or maybe we haven’t stretched our adventure muscles in awhile and just need more practice. 
Over the past week, I have been writing my book, and I have stumbled upon many obstacles – some that I had a feeling would show up and others that I’ve been surprised by.
And while I recognize them for what they are (old fears and distractions coming up to keep me comfortable), I still have to work through them and move them aside. This dream is too big to allow anything to stand in my way.
I was listening to a powerful telesummit yesterday with Jack Canfield where he was talking about how we can live our ideal life – even with the obstacles. 
He brought up the great point that we are always going to have obstacles – but our response to these obstacles is entirely our choice. 
We get to choose our thoughts, which means we also get to choose our outcome.
So the next time we are reaching for our dream and we come across an obstacle – take some time to go within and try to get to the bottom of the message it brings up. And then thank it for showing up and teaching you more about yourself, and either push through it or go around it. Keep moving forward.
We are all learning lessons every day. And with each lesson, we are all getting closer and closer to our truest self – our divine soul.
And every obstacle and road block is helping us do just that. They are also great tools to show us just how passionate we are about achieving our dreams and living our ideal life. 
Every obstacle we push through and every barrier we eliminate 
leads us closer to our dreams.

Loving Your So-Called Flaws

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Today’s post is a continuation of yesterday’s post about Mirror Work, where you say, “I love you” to yourself each time you pass by a mirror. 
In addition to feeling a bit goofy and awkward, this exercise can also bring up feelings of insecurity. Your inner critic may appear and start pointing out all of your physical “flaws.” If this happens, here is a great writing prompt from our Journaling Further Within book to help combat this voice and move on in a positive way:
Is there any part of your physical appearance that you criticize or don’t always feel great about?
If so, think of at least one thing that you like about it and write it down. 
By choosing to focus on what we like about our appearance instead of picking out our so-called flaws, we give energy to positivity instead of letting our inner critic control our lives.
You could even take this exercise a step further if you would like. 
The next time you are standing in front of a mirror, make sure you have a pen and notebook with you. Look at yourself from top to bottom and write down every single thing that you like about your body. Leave out anything that you don’t. (If there are things that you don’t like, use the exercise above to try to think of one positive aspect for each part you don’t like.)
The great part of this exercise is that you will have proof in writing of how beautiful you are and how wonderful your body is. This way, the next time you are feeling a bit down about how you look, you can take out your notebook for an instant self-esteem boost. 
Learning to love ourselves inside and out is a process – one that most of us are still figuring out and discovering. By taking these first steps toward loving your body, you will start your own journey toward self love. And this is truly the key to lasting happiness.

Mirror Work – Part 2

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I love that last month’s post about Mirror Work is one of our most read posts. 
I think this is so great because I feel that self care and self love are essential for lasting happiness, and mirror work is one way to begin to love yourself. 
I hope you have been participating in my 30-day mirror work invitation: 
Each time you pass a mirror, look into your eyes and say, “I love you” (out loud). 
I have found that if you can commit to something for 30 days it truly becomes a habit, and you are much more likely to continue it throughout your life. 
(That’s how I started this blog, actually. I committed to myself that I would do it every day for 30 days and see where it took me – and now I am almost at 100 days! It’s become such a crucial part of my routine that I would miss it if I didn’t write each day.) 
And it’s the same with mirror work (or anything else you commit to). 
Louise Hay (a woman that I truly admire and look up to) believes that mirror work is the essential most powerful ingredient toward self love and self esteem.
I was listening to Hay House Radio last night and the wonderful Lisa Nichols was speaking about mirror work as well! (You may remember her as one of the prominent speakers in The Secret.) A caller asked her what is the quickest way toward feeling worthy and deserving of love, money, happiness, etc. 
This is what she recommended:
Stand in front of a mirror each day and say the following:
I am proud that you… 
(list 7 things)

I forgive you for…
(list 7 things)

I commit to you that…
(list 7 things)
Imagine how loved, acknowledged, and validated you will feel after doing this each day!
And remember that it’s completely okay if you don’t have seven things for each category. The point is to get into the habit of acknowledging yourself and praising yourself. If you have one thing that you are proud of, make sure you say it! 
Mirror work is such a great way to start loving yourself and realizing just how wonderful you truly are! Give it a try today and see how it feels! Remember that it may feel awkward and silly at first, but keep at it! Soon it will feel completely normal and wonderful. And soon you’ll start to notice positive changes happening in your life – all because you have begun to put yourself back on your priority list. 
And if you miss a few days, it’s okay! (I know that I definitely have.)
Just start up again and recommit to making self care a habit. 
Your soul will be forever grateful!