Category Archives: self esteem

The Power of Labels

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Have you ever had a moment where you wanted to change in some way, but you didn’t because it seemed too crazy, too out of the box, too “not you”?
The labels we give ourselves are really powerful. 
They can define us – and this can be empowering or stifling depending on where the label came from (our higher self or our comfort zone). If your higher self created the label, then you know it’s something great that you either currently embody or you can strive for. If you create labels for yourself from a point of low self esteem, comfort, or because you think you should – then they can hinder your growth and box you in to a life of comfort and stagnation. 
I recently took a look at what labels I give myself – both professionally and personally. 
I have been designing, writing, and making journals for over six years. Our business completely supports us, and I am comfortable calling myself an entrepreneur, a designer, and a creative spirit. But for some reason I had some blocks with calling myself a writer and an artist. For me, these words were powerful and I had to step back and think if I could truly embody these labels. 
It’s so funny to realize this – the power of words is so strong! 
I AM a writer and I AM an artist. 
I can choose to create these labels for myself and fully embrace them. 
Look at your own life. 

What labels do you use to define yourself? 
What labels do others use to define you?
Take some time today to write down these labels.

You could write: mother, friend, good cook, likes Chinese food, sensitive, artist, computer savvy, deep thinker, seeker, spiritual, nag, dependent, emotional, etc. 

Write down every word you can think of that you would use to describe yourself. 

Next, take a look and see if it truly describes the person that you want to be – your best self. If it doesn’t, get rid of it. Think about where each label came from. Is it something that you created for yourself or something that someone gave you that never seemed to fit (or no longer fits)?

Are there any labels you would like to add? Anything that you would like use to define yourself?
Here is an example of how powerful it can be when someone else labels us:
Let’s say you have always wanted to sing, but in junior high your choir teacher said that while you had a nice voice, you really weren’t able to project it. So you probably would never be a professional singer. So the label you put on yourself was that you had a soft voice and probably shouldn’t sing in public. Years go by and the love for singing is still inside of you – you receive support from friends and family urging you to use your voice and sing out. But that darn label is still there.

But… what if you created a new label for yourself? What if you said that you were a singer? There is no judgement in this word alone. It just is. You could then embrace that label and do what singers do: sing!
You can also create labels for yourself that you grow out of. 
And when that happens, it’s hard to let it go because you have become defined by this label – it is part of you.
What if you loved Chinese food. It was your favorite food ever. And then one day, it didn’t taste as good to you anymore. And you kept eating it because you had labeled yourself as someone who liked Chinese food. And you had created a life around this label – you would go eat it with friends every week, you would cook it for yourself at home. It was a comfortable identity – but it was no longer serving you because you realized that you no longer loved it like you used to. 
This is a funny example, but you could take out “Chinese food” and replace it with any part of your life that no longer feels like “you.” And if you do decide to relabel yourself as someone who no longer loves Chinese food – there may be friction. Your friends will no longer get to see you weekly at the restaurant. They may feel hurt and wonder why you are choosing to not be there. They may take it personally instead of realizing that you simply don’t like the food anymore. But you know that it’s simply because you no longer like this type of food. And why would you put a label on yourself that no longer fit?
Continuing to look into the labels we create for ourselves is part of self growth. 
If a label is no longer serving you – if it no longer represents who you are or who you would like to become – than replace it with one that does. 
“But I always have been that.”
or
“But everyone expects me to be that.” 
aren’t reasons to continue being someone that you no longer are. 
This isn’t an easy process, but it’s so worthwhile to go through. 
It’s part of becoming conscious and truly being aware of how we define ourselves. 
The first step is realizing our labels. 
The second step is making sure that each label fits who we are and want to become.
Living a conscious life is a lifelong practice that takes some work – but it’s so worth it!

The Importance of Following Through

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If you’re anything like me, your head is usually spinning with lots of ideas, you have started many wonderful projects, and you feel scattered and overwhelmed at times at the prospect of finishing them all. 
Because we are currently restructuring our business, I have had a lot of time to really think about how I work – what tends to happen – and how I can be more efficient and finish all of these fun projects.
Following Through
And while thinking about and talking to each other about all of this, Dan and I realized that it’s not so much the actual projects or goals that are the issue here – it’s really about keeping our word to ourselves – following through and finishing what we started. Because each time we do this, we are building up our self esteem – we are creating a habit for ourselves where in the future we will just assume that we will finish any project we start because that’s what we do. We know that we will keep our word both to ourselves and to others because we will have a proven track record of doing so. 
Creating a Habit
I started this blog exactly three weeks ago with the intent to post every day. In the past, blogging was one of the many projects I wanted to start and had every intention of keeping up with but seemed to get put into the pile of unfinished projects. This time it’s different though. I really feel that I have found my niche, and I am committed to following through and keeping my word to myself. A habit is formed after three weeks of performing it regularly – so yay! I now have created a blogging habit. And a wonderful bonus is that I get to write everyday and create this wonderful community with all of you!
Holding Yourself Accountable
Many of us make resolutions each January only to give them up by February. And this can really do a number on our self esteem. We will start to question whether we are truly able to keep our word at all. When future goals come up, we will wonder if we should even commit to anything given our past track record of not following through. This can be extremely detrimental to our own well being, which is why keeping our word to ourself is so crucial. 
In our Commitment Book, we created a simple system that holds each of us accountable for keeping our word. We emphasize that the goal itself isn’t as important as following through on it – it’s just an added bonus.
We suggest to start really small with your first goal – something that you know you can succeed at. That way you will be creating a habit and building yourself up to where you know you will be able to complete any goal you set for yourself in the future. 
Good ideas are only that without following through and
committing to making them happen. 
Create the habit one goal/project at a time, and you’ll truly be amazed at how good you feel about yourself – and imagine how much lighter you will feel when all of these unfinished projects that have been taking up space in your mind and home are completed!
What do you want to commit to today?

Affirmations and a Free Gift!

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I first learned about saying affirmations many years ago after reading Louise Hay’s books. She is an expert on them, and they were a huge part of her recovery from cancer. 
They can be both powerful and life changing.
If you haven’t said affirmations before, it might feel a bit strange at first. Especially when what you are saying doesn’t feel real yet. 
For example, say your affirmation is, “I live a calm, balanced life.” 

You created this affirmation because this is what you want for yourself – this is how your ideal life looks. 
However, at the present moment, your life may be far from this. That’s okay. We all have to start at the beginning. Say this affirmation to yourself and out loud often throughout your day. Look at yourself in the mirror and say it. Write it onto post-it notes, and hang them all around your house. Even if it feels strange at first, keep saying it – keep believing it – and before you know it, it will sink in, and you will be living a calm, balanced life. 
They really do work, but you have to keep at it and keep believing in it. When you say it to yourself, really feel what that calm balanced life feels like. Really remember why you created this affirmation to begin with. Really imagine yourself living this life each time you say the words. 
Affirmations are amazing tools for visualizing and creating our authentic lives. They are wonderful for our self esteem and our well being. 
Spend some time today writing down your affirmations. This is the fun part of the process – you get to dream and really think about what kind of life you want to create! When you write your own, make sure to write in the first person whenever possible.

To get you started on this journey, we are giving away our Soulful Journals Affirmations Screensaver! 

I created this screensaver for myself years ago, and I still use it today. I am happy to share it now with you! It comes with 12 affirmations – each paired with one of our paintings. 
Simply put “affirmations” in the subject line. We’ll then email it to you with instructions.
Have fun creating your affirmations, putting them up around your house, and saying them! You’ll be amazed at how much your life will change once they start to sink in! 

Who Are You Living For?

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This is a really important (and sometimes really hard) question to answer. 
In an ideal world, we are living for ourselves and only doing things that make us feel great and are on our authentic path.

But…it doesn’t always work this way. It’s normal to want to please others. It’s normal to want to be liked. But ask yourself at what expense are you willing to sacrifice your own wants and desires to fit in. 
Think of how you live and the decisions you have made and continue to make. 
Are you making them based on what you think people will want or expect you to do? 
Are you making them because someone else’s voice (a parent, a spouse, a friend) is inside of you directing how you live? 
Are you making them because you don’t want to upset anyone? 
Are you making them because that’s how you’ve always done it?

And now think about how you want to live. The answers are always within us if we just take the time to listen.
As the answers come to you, write them down. And as you write them down, make sure that it is your authentic voice coming up with the answers. This is an exercise that you can keep coming back to with every part of your life – every decision, every action you make, every second of how you live your day.

Make sure you are living YOUR life – whatever that means for YOU. 
There may be friction…
Sometimes when you start coming into your own power – your own authentic self – the self you know you were meant to be – friction occurs with those around you. When someone we love changes, it can sometimes be seen as threatening. It can bring up emotions, fears, and questions about our own life. This is why so many people resist it and why so many of us live lives that we know aren’t our best lives – comfortable, “I’m not rocking the boat” lives. And through this process of finding your own voice, you may have to let go of the voices you have carried within you – and this may mean letting go just in your mind or letting go of that person in reality as well.
Sometimes the perceived friction is only in our heads…
We all know how active our imaginations can be. When we are consciously deciding to live our best lives, we can start imagining how rocking the boat will lead to anger, disconnect, and complete withdrawal from those we love. We just know they won’t support us or understand this new person we are becoming. We get ourselves all worked up just thinking about showing them our authentic self. We are so afraid we won’t be accepted. And sometimes we aren’t. But more often than not, our loved ones completely support us and are completely okay with our changes. And we wonder why we were so worked up about it in the first place.  

Showing ourselves and the world who we really are can be a scary, vulnerable place. But it can also be an empowering place. You get to be you – fully you.

If we stay conscious and continue to examine each moment of how we live, we will learn more and more about ourselves and get closer to living our authentic life.

Now that’s worth living for!

What Do You Deserve?

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This is a continuation of yesterday’s post where I talked about how we create our life with our thoughts. In this post I focus on our beliefs about our own worth.
What you deserve and what you think you deserve sometimes have completely different answers. 

It all comes down to our thoughts, our beliefs about ourselves, and our self worth.

To give an example – imagine you are looking for a life partner. All you have ever wanted in life is to find someone who loves you for you – who appreciates you – who cares about you – and who would give anything to be with you. You know you deserve this.

And yet…the partners you actually end up with are afraid of commitment, treat you horribly, don’t appreciate you, and don’t care about you.

How does this keep happening to you?

It happens because we attract to us what we think we deserve – not what we actually deserve. 

In the example above, somewhere along the way you created a belief system about what you thought you were worth. And most likely this was an unconscious belief that started as a result of things you were told when you were young.

Once you become aware of your beliefs about your own self worth, you can begin to make changes. You can start saying affirmations letting yourself know that you are worth so much more than you are settling for. You can surround yourself with loving friends who build you up and love you unconditionally. You can learn to love yourself – possibly for the first time in your life.

And then you can start journaling about the person that you want to attract into your life – the person you know you deserve to be with.

Our thoughts and self worth attract the life we live. And this applies to relationships, work, money, friends – everything in our life!

Let’s all attract into our lives what we actually deserve – knowing that we are worth it.

An Authentic Life

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Are you living an authentic life? 

When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you know and like who you see? 
Is there anything that you aren’t being truly honest about with yourself or others? 
Is the “you” that you represent to the world the “you” that you really are?

I thought it was interesting the other day when a friend posted on Facebook that they sure hoped they could live up to their profile there.

In one of his stand-up routines, Chris Rock talks about dating and how we tend to send our representative to make a great impression.

While these are funny concepts – they are also very true. We all want to be liked. We all want to please others.

Sometimes to live an authentic life, we have to rock the boat. We have to stir things up a bit. And change isn’t always easy – for you or for anyone who knows you. It may seem threatening. “But they have always been this way – maybe I never really knew them at all,” they might say.

When this happens, stand strong in your own beliefs. Stand strong in knowing that you are living your own life to the best of your ability. Live the life that feels most like you, even if it’s not how you’ve done things in the past. Your inner voice will let you know if you’re on the right track.

Live an authentic life. And when you look in the mirror each morning, you can be proud of who you see smiling back at you.

🙂

You’ve Already Gone So Far

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Imagine that you are climbing a very tall mountain. You are struggling to take each step, and all you see is the peak far, far away. You keep going though – one step at a time. And after awhile, it might feel that the peak isn’t getting any closer, and you feel so tired and aren’t sure if you can take another step. When this happens, look down for a moment. Notice how far away the ground is. Realize just now far you have already gone – how much progress you have made.

So often we focus solely on the goal ahead, which at times can feel overwhelming and so far away. Taking a moment to look back and realize how far you’ve already gone in your journey immediately puts things in perspective and does wonders for your self esteem.

So the next time you are struggling and running out of steam – take some time to think about or write down just how far you have come since you started on this path. You’ll be amazed by how far you have already gone. 
In gratitude,
Jodi and Dan